From the Nuclear Family to the Vertical Family

In recent decades, families have changed their shape and structure. Previously, nuclear families, composed of parents and children, predominated. Today, many families are smaller of members, but include several generations living together: grandparents, parents, children, and even great-grandchildren. This phenomenon is known as “vertical families” or “extended families.”

This change is due to several factors:

• Increasing life expectancy: People are living longer, allowing several generations to coexist.
• Delayed childbearing: Women are having children at later ages, which overlaps child-rearing with caring for aging parents.
• Fewer children: Families have fewer children, which reduces the number of potential caregivers.

These changes have given rise to new family dynamics and challenges, especially for those at the center of this structure: the so-called “sandwich generation.”

The Sandwich Generation: Caregivers in the Middle

The term “sandwich generation” describes people who simultaneously care for their children and their aging parents. These are generally adults between the ages of 35 and 55 who find themselves “stuck” between two generations that require attention and care.

This situation can be overwhelming:

Emotional and physical burden: Caring for the needs of two generations can cause stress, anxiety, and burnout.

Economic impact: The expenses associated with caring for children and parents can be significant, especially if work hours are reduced or a job is given up to attend to these responsibilities.

Lack of personal time: The constant demands can leave little room for self-care and rest.

Despite these challenges, many people in the sandwich generation find meaning and purpose in their role, viewing caregiving as an expression of love and familial responsibility.

A Good Approach: The Family as a School of Love

The family is the “domestic church,” a place where faith, love, and solidarity are lived and transmitted. Caring for the most vulnerable members—children and the elderly—is a concrete expression of the commandment of love.

Pope Francis has emphasized the importance of caring for the elderly, stressing that “a society that does not care for its grandparents and treat them well is a society without a future.”

Likewise, the Catechism of the Catholic Church notes that “the family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom” (CCC 2207).

Therefore, while the challenges of the sandwich generation are real, so is the opportunity to live the Gospel daily, serving loved ones with love and patience.

Tips for the Sandwich Generation

1. Seek support: You are not alone. Share your experiences with others in similar situations, whether in parish groups, faith communities, or support networks.
2. Practice self-care: Take time for yourself to rest, pray, and recharge. Remember that to care for others, you must first “care” for yourself.
3. Set boundaries: It’s important to recognize your limits and communicate your needs to other family members.
4. Encourage co-responsibility: Involve other family members in caregiving tasks. Sharing the burden is more bearable.
5. Turn to prayer: Prayer can be a source of strength and comfort. Ask God for wisdom and patience to face each day.

A United Family is a Strong Family

Families are changing, and with it, the roles and responsibilities of their members. The sandwich generation faces unique challenges, but also has the opportunity to live Christian love in a deep and tangible way.

Let us remember that, as Psalm 133:1 says, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” In family unity, we find the strength to overcome difficulties and the grace to grow in love.

So, if you find yourself in the middle of this generational “sandwich,” do not be discouraged. With faith, support, and love, you can turn this challenge into a blessing for you and your family.